ueberCat

Today’s my 20th birthday and I feel everything but festive. I should be in a great mood - the people that matter remembered that it’s my birthday; last semester at uni went great, Kim and I found an awesome new apartment to move into together; things are good between Marius and I. A lot of good things have happened to me considering the fact that I normally act like a drooling idiot.

But, being the sad excuse for a human being that I am, I find the negative. I always find the negative, and that’s not normal, surely? Okay maybe finding it is, but not letting it overshadow every other good thing that has happened in your life. I think I just like the feeling of tears running down my face and struggling for air as my futile grief racks through my worthless body. It’s pathetic, really.

I made it through another year in this hell of an existence we’re supposed to be grateful for. I guess I should be happy about that. Instead I wish I was back with my family, celebrating this day with my friends, and I wish I could be stuck on this one day forever. Then I feel bad for being such an immature, thankless cunt who should just be getting on with things because guess what! I stay by myself and 20 means definitely no excuse to be irresponsible because there’s no ‘teen’ in your age anymore. People have high expectations. I guess I could say

But they can’t; because I obviously don’t have one and more importantly, I do care deep down what people think. Anyway - Happy birthday to me!

Have a good day everybody, on my behalf please :D